Daily Life in Sicily: What Is It REALLY Like?
- Camellia Phillips
- Aug 10
- 8 min read
We are coming up on our two-year anniversary of being full-time residents in Sicily. It's pretty amazing to look back at everything we've accomplished to get here, to this exact moment.
In fact, I have several half-finished posts about all the different things we've worked through -- residency, permesso di soggiorno, health system, Italian citizenship (for me), Italian driving school, renovations, family visits, taxes, etc. And that's not even counting MANY unexpected kittens who have lived with us.
It's been a rollercoaster and a bit exhausting. And the truth is, we've been so busy LIVING these things, we haven't had the energy to write about them. That, however, is about to change!
I want to kick off this fresh start by sharing a bit about what our daily life is like now. We've been here long enough to have a "daily life" that isn't tinged with rose-colored "vacation" glasses.
We live here now. Melilli, Sicily, is our home. We intend it to be our home for a very, very long time.
Our Daily Life in Melilli, Sicily: Similarities and Differences to NYC
In a Facebook group for "expats in Italy," someone recently asked other members to share their experience of daily life in Italy, and it got me thinking.
In many ways, life in the historic center of a Sicilian village is a lot like our lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn, where we lived for over 13 years. We do our writing. We do work for clients. We message and talk with our friends (here in Sicily and elsewhere in the world). And we're part of the fabric of a community, one we interact with every single day.
In Brooklyn, we knew our neighbors and our local business owners. We greeted someone every time we walked out our door. But here in Melilli, the experience of community is dialed up 1,000%.
Here's a snapshot of what that means:
Our macelleria (owned by cousins) gets fresh local milk delivered every Monday and Friday morning, and they set aside two bottles for us. If I'm heading out to pick up our milk on a Friday morning, along the way, I'll stop and chat with at least five people we know -- and greet another five with a simple "buongiorno," "giorno," or simply "ciao."
Who are these people I chat with? It's a mix of neighbors, cousins, friends, and local business owners, like the farmer who sells produce from the farm that's been in his family for several generations. In fact, most businesses here are multi-generational.
Because I love getting to know people and practicing my Italian, early on I started chatting with EVERYONE I met. It was one small decision that has provided so much joy and so many rich stories and connections.
If there is one tip I'd share with other folks immigrating to Italy: chat with everyone you meet! It doesn't matter how good or bad your Italian is. Just talk. Ask questions. Listen.
Buying Food in Sicily Is VERY Different from the US
One of the biggest differences between life in Sicily and the US is how we buy our food. I have to say, I LOVE how food works here in Sicily.
We go to multiple places to get different types of products. For example, we go to the macelleria every couple of days to get meat, cheese, and other fresh items. To get produce, we go to the Monday outdoor market and have a direct line to a produce vendor who drives by our house every Friday midday (we even place special orders!).
There's also the local farmer who sets up his truck, packed with freshly-harvested, seasonal veggies and fruit, down near our main street (via Iblea) multiple mornings each week. He often sends us a text to let us know he's there so we can run down and stock up.
We definitely spend more time getting food here than we did in Brooklyn, but that's part of the joy of it. Each place you go, you linger a bit, depending on how many other people are there doing the same.
At 11:30 am on a weekday morning (during the pre-lunch rush), it might take you 30 minutes to get 200 grams of sliced prosciutto at the macelleria because there are others ahead of you. But unlike in the US, you aren't just standing in line (partly because lines don't really exist where we are). Instead, everyone is chatting! People are making jokes, discussing news, asking how you're doing, greeting each other, and catching up. Here it's also a mix of Sicilian and Italian, so sometimes people have to translate for me since I don't speak Sicilian yet.
In times like that, getting 200 grams of prosciutto becomes a social and cultural event! If you choose to embrace the pace, rather than get frustrated, it's a marvelous kind of magic.
We Are Still Homebodies in Sicily, Just Like We Were in the US
We have a little bit of a reputation in Melilli for being homebodies, which is funny because we are and always have been. We're dedicated "staycationers" -- which sounds a bit silly since we also packed up our lives and moved abroad. But now we're staycationers in a new place.
We spend time at home working on writing projects, client projects, and other creative endeavors. I tend to need more rest than the average person, so we go to sleep early (for Sicily). Events in the big piazza tend to start around 9 pm (21:00) or later. And let's just say that staying out till midnight is not going to happen for us any time soon!
One difference about our lives here is that we've decided to make our home feel like the most amazing place to be. We've been slowly doing minor renovations room by room, and this fall we're tackling a few big projects (including transforming our amazing roof terrazza).
Part of the reason we've decided to make these investments in our home is that we spent 12 years dreaming of redoing the kitchen in our Brooklyn apartment -- and only took the plunge when we decided to rent the place out. So we enjoyed that beautiful kitchen for about three weeks. And then it wasn't ours anymore. Lesson learned. We're in a stable place where we have health coverage on the public system, we have no debt (no mortgage AND paid off student loans in US), and we don't have to fear things like losing our health coverage or losing our home. (And for me personally, those fears were never unfounded, as I experienced both at various times in the US).
What we have now is a chance to reflect on what we would do differently in our lives -- and then to do things differently.
Creating Friendships When Moving to Sicily Takes Time
People often ask me, "Have you made friends in Sicily yet?"
I answer, "Yes, but friendships take time, and I'm not in a rush."
We do have amazing friends here, but no matter where you live (unless you're in a college dorm or summer camp), it usually takes years to develop deep friendships. Some of my most beloved friends have been in my life for DECADES. One friend, I've known since we were babies. My best friend I met when I moved to NYC in 2001, but it took several years after that to become really close.
Friendship takes time. But that doesn't mean these looser, slow-growing social connections have no value. In fact, they are some of the most valuable friendships you can have. Community and the frequent and casual social interactions that entails, is a huge benefit for mental health and aging well (and yes, there's research on that).
Having a Car in Sicily Is Life-Changing in Unexpected Ways
For over a year and a half, we did not have a car here in Sicily. Melilli isn't on a train line (hillside village problem, ha). So we really got to know the bus routes and systems. It was tough, but we made it work.
In the end, our public transit period was a huge benefit because now that we have a car (YAY!!!), we don't use it that often. We are not remotely reliant on the car for daily activities. We still do all that on foot.
The single biggest benefit of having the car so far is being able to take the kittens to the vet when needed. For example, this past weekend, we took five-month-old Nuzza to the late-night emergency weekend vet in Siracusa and I thought: Now THIS is why we have a car. In good news, Nuzza is OKAY now. It took a few days, but she's happy and healthy, the little bug.
The other big benefit of having a car? Going to the beach and other fun excursions off the bus line (which we haven't done as much of yet due to kittens).
Italian Bureaucracy Is All About Mindset
I'll probably write a whole other post on this at some point, but my outlier experience is that bureaucracy here is basically equivalent to living with a complex chronic illness and dealing with health insurance companies in the US.
With US health insurance, companies are constantly changing their formulary (e.g. covered) medication lists. They're constantly rejecting claims and preauthorization requests. Then, once you figure out one insurance company's practices, BAM, your employer changes insurance companies or you change jobs and end up with a new insurance company and plan.
Dealing with a complex chronic health condition in the US was a 20-year nightmare for me. The ground was always shifting under my feet. And behind all the hoops I had to jump through was utter terror. What if I lost my insurance? What if I had to pay $1,000 for a medication out of pocket that wasn't covered? What if I had to pay $3,000 to $6,000 for a procedure where the paperwork got messed up along the way? How much was my health worth to me, especially when treatments were only ever partially effective?
Compared to THAT experience, Italian bureaucracy is honestly FINE. Is it fun? Not exactly (although I've had some very fun conversations with government employees along the way!). But it is 100% manageable if you have the right mindset.
Italian bureaucracy pro tips: Start by accepting that the rules are more different than you could ever imagine. Then be polite, ask questions, listen carefully, don't get angry or frustrated in front of government employees, and above all, be persistent.
Wherever You Go, There You Are
The big thing to keep in mind, and the thing that really trips up a lot of people who move to Italy from abroad, is that saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."
You bring yourself here with you. You are not going to change just because your environment changes. You have to choose to change with your environment. That often means letting go of old thinking patterns, old behaviors, and even a little bit of who you think you are or could be.
For me, I've lost a lot of my NYC hustle. Instead of fighting the fact that my body needs extra rest, I just do it. I intentionally learned to nap, which taught me that not every minute has to be packed with being productive. I built a business, but I'm not trying to grow it. I'm happy with "enough."
When you move abroad, whether it's Italy or anywhere else, it's up to you to choose how much it changes you.
Do you want to be the same person just living with different scenery with a different language? Or do you want to be someone different? A new variation of you. Maybe a better one, if you're willing to explore it.
I've noticed that some people who call themselves expats think that this change is going to occur naturally. They pack their bags, get on a plane to Italy, and all of a sudden, it's going to feel like perpetual vacation.
But life in another country (even one as incredible as Italy) isn't a vacation. It's real life. Your new country isn't going to work the way your old country did. People are going to think differently. Rules and procedures are going to be different. It's up to us to adapt. It's up to us to change.
Daily Life in Sicily: Here We Are
Moving to Sicily has been a challenge in many ways (mostly logistics and legwork). But for us, the choice has been the right one.
We're settling into our daily life and being intentional about what we want that daily life to look like. It's an ongoing challenge to change how I think about things like productivity and rest, especially. But it's the kind of challenge I am very, very lucky to have.
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